Leading With Vulnerability
We all know it, 2020 has been a year like no other - confusing, frightening, frustrating, and of course…unprecedented (we’ll all be glad to not use that term for the next 10 years). But it's brought out a very real side of people, which in many ways we were needing to see. We crave personal connection above all else, and it's made us more aware of that need and how we interact with each other.
At the start of the pandemic I wrote a blog post on leading with vulnerability and as the pandemic progressed, I forgot to post it. I recently read this piece at a webinar I did for Google and people connected with it so deeply that I wanted to have this be my last blog post for the year. Being vulnerable is not comfortable for me, which you’ll see, but this pandemic has reminded me of another challenging time in my life when I used that vulnerability to connect with others. Showing vulnerability in a challenging time can be one of the most impactful things we can do as leaders and I hope this reminds you that it’s ok to show your full human self.
Should I tell them or should I not? These were the words that went on the back of my mind when I was grappling with the shocking news of a cancer diagnosis. It's showing a weakness and exposing a very personal part of my life which I'm not so sure I feel comfortable with. Working in a male dominated industry, I was acutely aware of how I dressed, how I acted and fitted in with my male colleagues. To suddenly come into the office one day and talk about something so personal was something I never imagined I would ever be doing. The conservative and quite private individual in me had my doubts and worries but in the end, I wanted to share my whole story and lead with vulnerability. And I did...
That day I had to call my boss in New York and tell him the news, I was shaking on the other side of the phone. When I mustered up the courage to say " I have some news that's really hard to share and I wish I could tell you in person but this call is going to have to do.. Long pause.. I was recently diagnosed with breast cancer" At that point, the tears welled up in my eyes and every muscle in my face showed the complete terror I was living with. This exact moment defined me and how I wanted to be known in dealing with something that was so personal. My boss heard my pain, my courage and my determination to lead through the tears and uncertainty and respected me even more for being so open and vulnerable. As hard as the decision to be personal was, it defined me as a leader. I brought something with me into the office that was so personal. My office saw me leading with vulnerability and it inspired them to support me even more.
Leadership is a single word but there are ways for us to lead in our lives every single day. How are you as a leader and what style do you take on? In my mind, the definition of a leader is someone who can bring out the best in the people around them. It's not someone who manages through fear to get respect but it's someone who inspires people to be their true and best self to deliver their absolute best. Perhaps leading with vulnerability is not your personal style but this pandemic has brought out a human element in so many people that has made connecting to your team on a personal level fundamental to getting results. We are all human and at times like these, people are craving connections that inspire them on a personal level. So now that we can't connect with people around the proverbial water cooler, how are we able to inspire our colleagues remotely?
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Wishing you all a very happy and healthy holiday season. If you'd like to reach out to discuss my next mindset coaching program beginning January 20th, I would love to chat.
Best Wishes!
x
Wendy